How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
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