honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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