yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
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I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
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Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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