On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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