He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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