Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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