everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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