Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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