Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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