i think my mom watched the whole time
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Also, beer. Big fan.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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