saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
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scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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