Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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