Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  did you get engaged???

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  (248): did you get engaged??? http://tfl.nu/bgu9
  Replies (15) Good night (957) Bad night (2179) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen

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  (781): my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen http://tfl.nu/zgta
  Replies (13) Good night (2517) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited

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  (413): I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited http://tfl.nu/vv7z
  Replies (31) Good night (7219) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  How wet are you?

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  Ever heard of a U-boat?

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  (908): How wet are you? (1-908): Ever heard of a U-boat? http://tfl.nu/c25g
  Replies (16) Good night (3712) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.

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  (765): I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart. http://tfl.nu/xlbc
  Replies (37) Good night (6755) Bad night (1464) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics

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  (716): My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics http://tfl.nu/wc24
  Replies (50) Good night (5169) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.

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  (480): We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids. http://tfl.nu/o5lf
  Replies (15) Good night (3083) Bad night (1291)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.

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  (+44): I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa. http://tfl.nu/wm5o
  Replies (3) Good night (2010) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night

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  (314): I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night http://tfl.nu/ebah
  Replies (6) Good night (2302) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?

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  (509): I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night? http://tfl.nu/36p9
  Replies (11) Good night (924) Bad night (1973) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.

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  (970): I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting. http://tfl.nu/e4bo
  Replies (11) Good night (792) Bad night (2376) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.

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  (571): FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool. http://tfl.nu/xgys
  Replies (3) Good night (2212) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.

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  (253): I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board. http://tfl.nu/lkp6
  Replies (5) Good night (501) Bad night (1298)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...

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  (503): Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat... http://tfl.nu/b2lc
  Replies (2) Good night (331) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
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  (428): View more from

  Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.

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  (428): Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale. http://tfl.nu/liut
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt

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