I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
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