The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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