from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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