I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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