Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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