I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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