I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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