so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize