I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you mean i was at the winter classic?
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I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
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Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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