I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize