I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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