there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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