Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
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Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
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i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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