Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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