Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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