He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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