Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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