it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I would fuck him just for his dog
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize