I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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