There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
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Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
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My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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