No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
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The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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