Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My bed smells like the plague
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