Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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