i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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