I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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