I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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