it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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