my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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