my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize