just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
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He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize