I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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