i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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