If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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