no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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