How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize