I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize