Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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